Nettie Bozanich The trust cycle I remember that moment - years ago– as if it was happening now. She said she would. She promised. She knew my tears, my fears were real. She still promised. Then, she didn't. She forced me on and yelled vile words. The details aren't important. What matters is that She said she would. She didn't. I was broken but didn't realize -----------------how much. -----------------how real. -----------------how long. Until - he said he would and they said they would and I didn't believe them. And soon no one's words meant anything. I was broken, devastated, immobile, trapped in myself. She said she would. She didn't. I thought forgiveness and trust were linked. And maybe they are. I don't hold it against her–I can't, I wouldn't. Maybe my hurt has created a fortress. I punish her by denying my trust. Do I just hand it back to her?                                      to him?                                      to them? I don't think I could. Because then I would be my own stranger. So, I wait for something to change, to move, to pop, to snap. And that moment doesn't come. I don't believe any of them.  Because She said she would. She didn't.

Nettie Bozanich is a freelance writer whose work has been published in numerous publications (online and in print) including Coelacanth Magazine, Reflections, The Sidewalk's End, Wellspring Journal and The Drive. She holds a degree in Honours English. Her website features a weekly article and further information about her work: nettiebozanich.com. Currently, she is working on a book of poetry. Her pursuits include expressing her personal experiences through feminist perspectives and exploring oppression experienced by marginalized individuals.  email:  N.Bozanich

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